Assumptions - Why I Share My Pronouns

Don't you just hate it when people make assumptions about you. Like if you're really tall, they assume you are into basketball. Or if you carry extra weight, you have health issues. The other day, someone said to me "you're so girly, why do you bother to share your pronouns all the time?" I have been thinking about it ever since. When I first began this practice, I wanted to share them as a sign of solidarity. I want the people I encounter to feel comfortable sharing their pronouns with me. I want them to feel seen and understood and level the playing field to the best that I am able. But the questions made me stop and think.

​The thing is, I have always hated feeling like people are making assumptions about me. 

For most of my life, I have struggled with weight. Our society makes a lot of assumptions about folks who are larger. They have health issues: some do, some don't. They are weak or lack stamina: some do, some don't. I could continue with this list. The reality is these are assumptions based on appearances and have no basis in fact. I could go on about tattoos, piercings, hair color, fashion choices... As a society we like to make assumptions based on what we see.

What might it look like if we simply encountered people as they are, no assumptions? If we let them tell us who they are without layering on a bunch of presumed ideas. Honestly, some of you have probably made assumptions about me simply because I do share my pronouns. What if we were simply curious about people? What if we asked them about their identities and their culture? Imagine the conversations we could have it we started with curiosity rather than assumptions?

My challenge to you is to try it. Ask yourself what assumptions you are making about the people you encounter. Then get curious. 

Because You are Worth it - and so are they!
​Heidi