Loving Above the Fray

​Today is November 2nd, 2020. It’s election eve in America. I find myself frustrated because these words have been stuck in my head and I haven’t taken the time to get them written, to share them with you before now. In my daily work I find myself steeped in conversations about wanting a better world. I speak and teach and coach on topics like racial reconciliation and the intersectionality of faith, racism, and feminism. I share these topics with many of the people I love, but not all. More and more, I am encountering others who quietly admit they share the frustration of loving someone who disagrees with them in this highly charged political environment.

I've been thinking about the phrase "living above the fray," so I looked it up in the Merriam-Webster dictionary.

They define the expression as “not directly involved in an angry or difficult disagreement.” That’s the challenge. How do we stay above anger and conflict that will cause our relationships to fray, but stay true to our values and beliefs? When we find ourselves in loving relationships with spouses, children, parents who disagree, it is difficult to stay out of the fray.
So, what can you do to navigate these waters?

1. Be true to yourself. Know when you have the capacity to engage and when you need to practice the self-care of creating space.
2. When you have the capacity to engage, be curious. Avoid getting into “talking point” arguments and stick to your own feelings and ideas. Look for places you can find common ground to build on.
3. Find like minded support. Sometimes it just helps to be able to talk about your frustration and sadness about the challenges of these relationships with someone who gets it. There is so much shaming and blaming in the world right now, at times it can seem like there is no safe place to share. Find your people. Offer them support and let them support you.

These are simple, though not always easy steps. Please know you are not alone. If you find yourself struggling, I invite you to check out my Loving Above the Fray Coaching Group, it might be a good fit.

Because you are worth it!

Heidi